White Gold - Outline

I'm currently looking for input on an outline for an upcoming Writers of the Future piece.
Orson Scott Card says look for feedback on the following:

- Oh Yeah? - Does it seem correct to you? Any flaws or holes? Anything that makes you think "that wouldn't happen." ie Plot holes.

- Huh? Confusion or misunderstanding - Anything I left out? Or something not seeming clear?

- So What? Why should I care about this? How is this relevant? Does it seem intriguing?

And of course, anything else you have comments about.

LINK

Colton's Dieselpunk Thingy

Alright, it's been noticed before that I like to reuse settings. For NaNo, I've been trying some experimentation.

Basically, I'm looking for both how character backstories pull the story together, as well as the worldbuilding itself.

Here's the link to the document.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mZq9FoaH9-jkO3MYuhyVOa4nVn48HL1J12QL6YTvsHM/edit

My question is more a request. At the end of the document is several characters. I'm looking for backstory ideas on them. Likewise, I'm just looking for feedback on worldbuilding, technology, or even other characters you think would be awesome.

Dark Empires: Prologue

Sorry for posting twice-in-a-day. Just wanted to let you know a prologue is now up on my Dark Empires document over on GoogleDocs. Take a look when you get a chance. Specifically, I'm wondering if it makes any sense at all. Its meant to be a little mysterious and disorienting . . . but I'm worried it goes a bit too far.

How are you guys liking making the comments over on GoogleDocs? It seems to work rather well, IMO, but what's your opinions?

Heres the link again, in case you need it:

Dark Empires: Prologue

Epic 1

Ok, its taken forever . . . but here's the first EPIC cartoon strip. Now, I'm dissatisfied with a number of things with this first strip, but I wanted to get your general reactions to it. I need to work out a way to digitize the line drawing better, cause the way I did it looses too much detail on the panes that are more "zoomed out". And I think I'm gonna try coloring the next one in Photoshop instead of Illustrator. I also want to go for a bit more detail than I did in this one, both in drawing and coloring. But my biggest question is this: is this thing even remotely funny? Let me know!

If you click on this image it should take you to a larger version of the comic.

Later . . .

P.S. Anybody going to the release of Alloy of Law tomorrow?

Dark Empires: An Outline in Progress

So, Travis inspired (and Jesse prodded me) into trying this NaNoWriMo thing  . . . I can't promise I'll be 100% more productive than I have been the past few months, but I'm gonna give it a shot. Also, while I'm at it, I'd like to try something new: instead of posting my stuff right here in the post, I'm gonna give you guys a link to a google doc that has my new stuff. I've added all of you to the document so you should be able to post comments to it. I think this'll be a better system cause you'll be able to select particular sentences/paragraphs/lines that you want to comment on, and then by adding a comment it'll highlight that specific line and point to the comment. That way when you do comment on somebody's work, they'll be able to see right where you're commenting.

For those of you who haven't used googledocs, to make a comment you simply highlight the piece of text you want to comment on, then go to the Insert menu and select Comment. A comment box will pop up and you'll be able to write your thoughts up. I'll provide an example on the googedoc.

So, here's the link to my outline for the scifi novel I'll be writing:

Dark Empires