Alright, people have probably noted that I haven't been submitting stuff. This is not due to boredom on my part, but due to me working on outlines and worldbuilding. Here is the outline for my next WotF entry.
Firstly, this is an outline, not writing. It is present tense, third person omnipotent. It gives the story synopsis in telling format. It is not meant to be entertaining, but is to give the dynamics of the story and tell the plot, characters, resolution, etc.
Questions:
1. Did you see any plot holes? Put another way, do I raise questions and never answer them? This isn't about world building questions, but actual plot resolution.
2. How are the characters? Are they interesting? Do they seem invested in the plot, in each other?
3. How does the setup sound? Do you see any logical pieces missing? This means questions like "Why don't the characters just do X" or "Why are they doing X when it won't work?
4. Anything else. This is an outline, so I don't care about the actual writing. I'm looking at content.
Three if by Air Outline 2
Background
April, 1775. The colonies are at an uneasy standing with Britain as the Crown levies more unfair taxes and treaties against the unruly Colonials. Boston is held under military rule by General Gage, as he tries to destroy the hotbed of revolutionary activity taking shape in the Americas. The Patriots, the leaders of the opposing faction, have fled to Pennsylvania, leaving only Samuel Adams and John Hancock in Boston.
Fearing tyrannical British ordinances, many colonists have stockpiled weapons, preparing for the fight they see as inevitable. The British are wildly unpopular. General Gage, knowing that Sam Adams and John Hancock are in close proximity, discovers the colonists are hording weapons outside of Boston, in the city of Concord.
With this knowledge in hand, Lord Gage orders the Regulars to seize the weapon caches as well as arrest Adams and Hancock if the opportunity presents itself. The Patriots are also aware of British orders to march, and messengers await the sign that the British have mobilized and are marching.
Unbeknownst to the British, the Benjamin Franklin currently in Britain, is not the real Ben Franklin. The real one along with several Patriots setup a workshop in Massachusetts, near Concord, away from prying eyes. Franklin is building a new mechanical armor, one that doesn’t require a man to operate. His hopes and the hopes of the people helping him is that the weapon will be a deterrent and the British will back down. Unfortunately for Franklin, the British have become aware from a loyalist spy that the Patriots have a workshop somewhere in the forests near Concord, where they are making something dangerous.
Characters
Montgomery McCullough
Monty has been a business partner with John Hancock for some time, dealing with the smuggling in Boston, under the nose of the British. Born an urchin on the streets of the same city, he worked his way into the docks business. He was able to succeed largely because of his discerning ability to find patterns and know the right thing to say at the right time.
A house fire some years back severely burned his left hand, and he now keeps the maimed digits wrapped in a bandage. The house fire claimed the lives of both his wife and young son of six. Or at least so he thought. During the fire he was injured trying to go back in after them, and was held back by concerned neighbors. The son was rescued by another man who ran in to help.
The tremendous blaze destroyed several buildings, and in the confusion father and son were separated. Monty thought the boy dead, and the boy was given to the orphanage when no father could be found. Subsequently adopted, Monty only found out the son lived five years later. He has begun watching the boy, giving him gifts or helping him behind his back. He doesn’t want to break the emotional wounds open. His son already lost his father. Regaining him would be just as bad.
With problems like that, Monty has less patience for the Patriotic fervor of his friends. He is in the business to get money, and though not dishonest, he does have a reputation for being financially tight-fisted. He is neither loyalist nor patriot, but he has a growing dislike of the British with each new tax making it harder for him to do his job. He is a man respected by his peers, known as someone who keeps his word, and does the work asked of him. He is also a very well known gambler, and has an enviable lucky streak.
Monty finds himself pushed into a cause that was someone else’s, and is forced to find just whose side he is on, and whether he is simply staying away from his son for his son’s sake, or for his own.
John Hancock
The smuggler (it is not blatantly stated, but implied) and patriot is a man who is unashamed of what he believes in, and forceful in speaking and personality. He has money, and he has contacts. He is someone who knows what he wants and then pursues it for whatever he can get out of it.
He is remaining near Boston largely because he refuses to be kept out of the fight. He is a man who is not afraid of getting into the thick of things, and almost has a fearless edge to his personality. He is with Samuel Adams, planning issues against the British when the Regulars leave Boston.
He is zealous and good mannered. He is unafraid and yet knows fear. He is charming in his own way, yet he has a personality which beckons to mind someone who will get what they want every single time.
Benjamin Franklin
The Renaissance man who is Benjamin Franklin is one who is calm and collected, yet becomes a dragon when upset. He is always quipping when he speaks, and has an overbearing personality that will blow people away. He gets his head lost in his work sometimes, but he is no bumbling scientist.
Under the guise of going to England to negotiate treaties and fair treatment for the colonies, an imposter was appointed to pretend to be Franklin. Instead, the real Franklin with the blessing of rich Patriot patrons began work in a lab near Boston on a machine.
The strength of the British has always lied in their disciplined soldiers, as well as in their Lion Knights, the soldiers wearing the mechanical armor and act as Britain’s heavy guns. Franklin plans on achieving a true automaton Lion Knight, that will tell the British that the colonies can take care of themselves as well as leave a Damocles sword over the Crown so that they know the colonists will not be backed into a corner.
His work is nearly completed, and soon he will have made the world’s first automatic soldier, a being who does not fear, needs no food, nor rest. With it, he hopes to create a new revolution and create a utopia for men. He is not aware that the British are coming, and when they find it, they’ll have their own purposes for the automaton.
Plot
Montgomery McCullough sits in Charleston holding the keys to an iron horse. He repeats the mantra, “One if by land, two if by sea, three if by aAir,” awaiting the signal from the Old North Church to signal the departure of the British. Everyone suspects the British to travel by air, but some think they might try sneaking their soldiers out via land or sea.
He is there not out of any sense of patriotism, but because he was asked by Paul Revere. Revere knows that Monty is a man of his word, and called in a favor owed by Monty to wait for him Charleston while he crosses the bay on a normal horse. Monty sees the signal. As expected, the British are traveling by air, hoping to catch the Patriots off guard.
Monty sees a boat crossing the bay. He knows this is Revere, trying to sneak past HMAS Somersat which sits moored nearby. Just as Revere is about to make it, the Somersat spots him, and, under orders to open fire at any messengers, shoots at him. Revere stumbles ashore, bleeding out. In his last moments, he convinces Monty to take his place and warn the countryside. He tells him to head to a certain address at Lexington and he’ll find people who can help him.
Revere asks, “When was the last time you saw your son?”
Monty says, “Three days.”
“You should talk to him. A son should know his father,” Revere says and then he dies.
Monty, having made a promise, gets on the iron horse, a familiar steed, and tears off into the countryside, arriving at Mystic. There, he awakes the commander for the militia, and gives the warning out. Already, the British movements are becoming obvious as the great airships fill the sky. The militia warned, Monty continues towards Lexington.
On his travels, he encounters a patrol of British regulars (two men), who immediately discern he is a messenger. They try to detain him, but he breaks away, relying on his own knowledge of the terrain to escape. He warns every house he comes across until he hits the main road near Pierce’s Hill. He finds he is behind William Dawes, one of the other riders, and so he heads straight for Lexington, passing by roused Militia.
Upon arrival, he seeks the address Revere gave him, and knocks at the door. He is pulled inside at gunpoint, and asked to identify himself. He tells and there is murmured discussion before he is allowed to see his captors. Monty is surprised to discover himself among the presence of Samuel Adams, John Hancock (his business partner), as well as the other main rider, William Dawes.
Monty finds the group is preparing the militia to resist the British, even as the sounds of airships fill the air. The Patriots were initially under the impression the British were to arrest them, but they realize that the amount of manpower deployed is too great to just arrest them, and the Regulars must be after the weapon cache in Concord.
“Or worse,” Hancock says, as he casts an uneasy gaze at Adams.
They tell Monty that whether he wants to or not, he’s now officially part of the conspiracy.
“Welcome aboard. Membership fees are due in a week!” Hancock laughs.
Monty is told that things are better left shown than told, as to just what could be worse. Hancock was already adamant about being close to the action, so they agree for Adams to head to another safe house, while Dawes and Prescott continue to Concord. Hancock is instructed to take Monty to “the project” since there needs to be a warning there as well.
While they are riding, the two reminisce about old times together, smuggling different supplies past the British during the past few years. Hancock talks about Monty’s son, and tells him he really needs to talk to the kid. Their conversation continues for a moment until they run into another blockade of British Regulars, these ones mounted on iron horses rather than real ones. The blockade forces them to stop, and their owning two iron horses raise more than one suspicious eye.
As they are awkwardly answering questions by the Regulars, Hancock gives Monty the signal, and they both bolt for freedom. The startled Regulars give chase, realizing that the two are messengers.
A sudden gap in the trail, and a swift Regular force the pair to split up, and Monty finds himself in a desperate chase through the forest with two Regulars hot on his trail, trying to subdue him. They fire their guns at his horse, trying to damage the machine and dismount him.
((Find some interesting way to shake off his pursuers? Either through mechanical knowledge, or knowledge of the environment?) He finished the chase, having lost his pursuers. However his iron horse, long since having lost much of its fuel, collapses.
Monty gets up, and realizes he doesn’t know where he is. He sets off to find the road, which he does, and follows it in a westward direction.
He sees a barn and stops there to check and look for directions as well as warn the inhabitants of the regular’s procession. The dirigibles are still some distance behind him. He knocks, and the door opens to reveal John Hancock. Hancock seems unsurprised to see him, and pulls him inside.
“What have you brought me this time?” a voice from inside the workshop calls out. The voice is Benjamin Franklin. Monty is surprised, since it is common knowledge that the statesman is in England. Franklin picks up on this immediately and informs Monty that the Franklin in England is an imposter to throw the British off.
“You wanted to know what was going on?” Hancock asks.
Franklin gestures to a large statue-like creation in the middle of the workshop. It is an automaton, like the British Lion Knights, but unmanned. Franklin says he hopes to use it to coerce the British to ease up on trade restrictions, both as a deterrent, as well as proof that the colonies don’t need British protection.
Franklin is almost done, and he bemoans the poor timing of the British to march this night. He just has one last piece to tinker out and his final product is but several hours from completion. The object is a resonance manifold, a device used to direct power inside the automaton. Hancock stresses the danger, but Franklin says he only needs a few more hours and they can leave on their own initiative. He goes back to work.
Franklin barely gets to his worktable when the door is smashed open and a team of British Regulars storm inside. Monty recognizes one of his pursuers among them. They followed him here! The three are arrested and the automaton seized. The Regulars don’t understand what the automaton is, but they know they have to keep it out of the colonial’s hands.
A wagon is summoned to haul the automaton, and the three ride with it while the British march to Concord where the dirigibles are. The journey is taken in silence and they arrive to see the city fully in the hands of the British who moved quicker than the colonials could. The British didn’t have the space to take Lion Knights, so there are just regulars. The local militia is kept under armed guard while the British destroy the arms cache.
While their guards talk to their commanding officers, Franklin smuggles something into Monty’s hands. It is the manifold, completed. Hancock would never make it close enough, but Monty might, Franklin instructs. Monty is unsure for a moment. He could very likely be killed in the attempt. He sees a family being shepherded out from their house, the father blocking the British from pointing their weapons at his family. Willing to die for his son.
Monty makes his move. He slips towards the automaton and gets next to the machine. He activates the robot and prepares to attach the manifold, when he is spotted. The British soldiers immediately apprehend him and seize the manifold. They demand to know what he was doing. Monty gets an idea, and informs the British that he was retrieving the manifold, planning on denying them an essential piece, and planning on selling it. The British are not impressed with this avarice. One Regular reinstalls it, while Monty is forced, at gunpoint, joining Franklin and Hancock.
The manifold is installed, and the automaton awakens. The silence over the village is deafening as people look on in curiosity. The automaton turns to Franklin for orders. Franklin tells the robot to “drive the Regulars away!” The automaton attacks, blasting the Regulars with lightning cannons. The city is driven into chaos as the militia joins the attack.
Monty grabs a gun as well from a fallen British soldier and begins fighting. Franklin takes shelter under a building, keeping an eye on his automaton. The dirigibles use their mounted guns to fire down at the automaton, but are unable to pierce its armor. Franklin orders the automaton to attack the dirigibles. The automaton blasts a bolt of lightning into the sky and sends one dirigible down in a blaze of fire. Over the course of an hour of fighting, the British are forced from the city, and flee towards Boston on foot. The other dirigible limps away to its mooring towers.
Hancock is jubilant that they have won an important victory and the fight for liberty has begun. He asks Monty if he’ll join them. Monty pauses in thought for a moment before speaking.
“I will, but I need to return to Boston. There’s someone I need to speak to.”
THE END
