I changed the intro paragraph. I thought it flowed into it a lot better. My main concern is of course, character development as well as dialogue. I've always felt those as being my main weakpoints, so if you have any tips or ideas to improve it, go ahead.The latter section I also feel as missing something. Again tips are very much appreciated.
Chapter 2
“The original intentions of the Star God leadership was to build the Dominion up as fast as it could. This was necessary to create the power structure as well as the large population to weed out the experienced and the motivated. Within 1000 cycles of the Establishment, they had already assimilated the Celestials, the Behemoths, the Chancellors, the Templars, and the Imperators. These five species formed the backbone that generated the known Dominion societal structure known today. After the Dominion had these five races relatively entrenched within the Dominion, the Radiant Patriarch deemed it unnecessary to move with such vigor in the foreseeable future. The Dominion then entered what was known as the Entitlement Pact, which specifically stated that once researchers had deemed a planets inhabitants sufficiently advanced to no longer be a threat to themselves, the Dominion would assimilate them into the main body of the Dominion. This has since been the case in all but a few exceptions where external guidance and aid was needed to prevent a global extinction.” – Foundations, a Brief Excerpt
Corporal Whitney Murchison was one of the building security guards, specifically stationed with the 645th Military Intelligence Brigade. She had scored high enough to get into this unique branch of the military that conducted almost the majority of its business behind closed doors and at computer consoles, but not high enough to actually be a senior analyst, junior analyst or much else. For the moment she just made sure that people didn’t try to physically steal secrets, and to make sure some of the personnel didn’t rob the vending machines.
Something was up, that the higher-ups didn’t seem to eager to talk about. Since she was lower in the chain of command, such information was generally given out on a need to know basis and it was obvious that Whitney didn’t need to know. She had joined the Military at the youngest age she could. An orphan born to parents who still followed some radical beliefs back in the United Kingdom, they had both gotten themselves blown up for some long forgotten and ultimately pointless grudge.
As she walked down the halls on her routine patrols, she ate a chocolate bar. She had ultimately hoped for something a little better than a routine duty down the halls where greater people walked past without giving her a moment’s notice. It seemed that that was the way things went when it came to the military. You started out as a nobody, and had to work hard to become a somebody. Even then you were expected to sacrifice everything for the planet and that any one individual was unimportant. Well, maybe except some people, like Secretary General Salieri for one.
It only went to prove the point that army life wasn’t anything like it was in the movies or even in most books. She recalled a quote that said life in the police or in the military was long hours punctuated by brief periods of adrenaline soaked terror. She certainly hadn’t had any of the latter. After being assigned to this unit and moving out of Dublin, she had gotten assigned here. Certainly the military took care of their own, the pay was quite good, the benefits were great, and she enjoyed the looks that people gave her as she walked down the street but it still felt empty. Whitney wanted desperately to actually do something. Prove her value; find something to make her life worth it. It certainly wasn’t happening here at any rate.
The Office of Colonel Jonathon Quincy Newton, ICOM, Bejing, China
Newton had called a meeting of his command staff up to his office after Luna had eaten that candy bar. As Zamani arrived, he immediately noticed there was an air of what seemed to be near-panic. Something bad must be going on, that much was
painfully obvious, if it was enough to frighten Newton. The three adjutants, Colonel Newton himself as well as his three ranking Majors were crammed into the office.
Newton sat back down on his chair and leaned back, lighting another herbal cigarette as he popped his neck. He then looked back at the various personnel in the room. “It appears that we are not alone, people.”
A hush fell over the group that lasted for too long, and almost began to feel awkward. Zamani finally spoke. “What have we found?”
One of the officers, Major Garcia stated, “The signal itself is odd. We can’t determine where it came from. It shows as originated from over 50,000 light-years away, all the way to originating from the planetary surface.”
Saranya, with a puzzled look on her face asked, “Perhaps it is a faster-than-light signal? Because it moves instantaneously it crosses every point from the origin to the destination all at once, and has one residual original across all the points?”
Major Garcia shrugged. “I don’t know, anything is probable at this point. It doesn’t matter where it came from at the moment. What matters what’s in it.” He nodded toward one of the majors.
Major Dubois explained, bringing up a wall monitor. “The signal isn’t just a message. It’s a database. Images, sounds, music, tons of things. Over 45 terabytes of data so far. We’re still analyzing what it completely contains. Of what it does contain, includes DNA, it includes images. It all works on our software, it’s like it’s been tailor made for us to receive, except it can’t be. From what we’ve seen, and we have every reason to belive this, the signal wasn’t directed at us, it was just directed in our direction.”
Major Garcia continued on from what Major Jekyll was saying, “Satellites outside of our solar system picked up this signal. It raises the question whether someone has lousy aim, or if someone is just sending us a form letter. I’d have to agree with the latter.”
“Why is that, Major? “ Newton asked, with a hint of skepticism in his eye.
“Because of a lack of anything specifying us in particular sir. It’s just data. We may have happened on it by just chance.” The Major scanned through the files and started bringing up different images. Impossible images. Planets covered by lights. Massive spaceships holding orbit above planets. And the aliens. Not just one but, several, even dozens it looked like. Zamani watched a clip of a gargantuan alien walk across a distant planetary city. It looked like the unholy union of a gorilla and a centaur. He got the impression that it could wrestle an African elephant and win. Garcia changed to another video showing a city in space. It was possibly the largest city he had ever seen, far larger than Tokyo, which was a city of over 100 million people. Garcia, with his point satisfied, turned the monitor off.
“Currently we’re delving into more of the message. They seem to have some sort of intelligence built into the signal itself. Whatever it is, when it arrived here, it first infected the system. It wasn’t dangerous, it seems like it was looking for a standard to write with, then it started converting files onto our computers, as well as translating documents into English. So far, we’ve also found things that may be of some concern.”
Newton paused for a second and then motioned for Pérez to go on with what he had been explaining.
“If these files are too be believed, and again, I have every reason to believe that they should be, these aliens are hyper-advanced. The files show that they encompass an empire.. no.. not an empire, I don’t think I know what I’d call it. It’s a system of government that goes around taking planets and adding them into their main government.”
“So we’re talking about planetary conquerors?” Zamani asked, becoming partially concerned.
“No, see that’s the issue. It isn’t like an empire as we know it. They come to planets, and the planets joyfully submit to them. Maybe they show their hand, but I don’t think so. I think that they after a manner, bribe them.”
“How do they bribe them? Technology?” Roxanna asked, looking curiously at the Major.
“After a manner. The data shows that these guys have existed for over 300,000 years. What’s more, is their founders, and the majority of their population is still alive after that time. They have technology to basically make you immortal, to make you invulnerable as well.”
“How can they do that? I thought that it was proven to be impossible to completely stop the aging process.”
“I don’t know, it doesn’t expand further. Maybe it’s because if we figured it out, we wouldn’t readily ally with them. But that’s what they offer. It also says their society follows a meritocracy. The best are the ones who are in charge.”
“Wait, you said their populace is still alive after 300,000 years?” Newton asked.
“Yes sir. Their statistics show 63 different species. Almost 2 trillion sentients, spanning 423 different planets.”
Another pause went through the room. Everyone could see the elephant in the room, but no one wanted to mention it, until finally Roxanna broke the silence.
“If they showed up here tomorrow and told us to join them, we’d stand no chance of fighting them, of resisting them. We’d be screwed.”
Major Garcia nodded in agreement with Roxanna, but then took a more somber look. “See, that’s the problem. They know we’re here. We’re a relatively advanced civilization. In another century we’ll be out among the stars. They will be here before then.”
“Well then let’s hope they show up early. I’d rather not miss out of immortality,” Roxanna said a little too excited.
“Let’s not be too impetuous, Warrant. Remember that we’re loyal to the UN and to Earth. We’ll not align with the first alien race that shows up demanding compliance,” Newton scolded, “I need to consult with the rest of the Peacekeepers Command, not to mention the Secretary General. I’d prefer to see this before we believe it. Majors, unless you have anything else to supplement us with, I need you figuring out what else you can find. Military strength, politics, notable figures, transportation. The sort of things that I need to know.”
Officer’s Club, ICOM, Beijing, China
Technically they were off duty, but at a time like this, the U.N. needed everyone working as hard as they possibly could. The entire command staff had been informed of the issues, as well as the secretary general. The entire issue was now covered by an information blackout. All the data and everyone who knew about it had to stay in the premises, no exception.
Luckily, Zamani, Saranya and Roxanna had managed to sneak away from an hour break away from all the hectic life in the actual base. The amount of information they were uncovering was staggering. It was as if the resume of an ancient culture had shown up and had left its entire history along with it. The majority of the files were incredibly high quality clips and images from this group.
People were so concerned over what was contained and what it meant that no one was really spending any significant amount of time wondering and postulating about what exactly that meant. Mankind was standing at the crossroads into the future. The rest of Earth’s history would be written from what they would do now, but not too many people seemed too concerned about it.
“It’s all so much, in so little amount of time, isn’t it?” Roxanna said, holding her golden head in her hands. She massaged her scalp trying to seethe the tempest of a headache that was raging from all the computer work. “Why now? Is it just coincidence or something else?”
“These aliens, they’re so far beyond us, it almost seems unimaginable. The majority of their species has been around since before the Egyptians… the Sumerians. I don’t think there is any coincidences with how they work. Their writings, their music, their histories, it’s all so methodical and precise. No mistakes, no jobs done by half,” Saranya said, while relaxing back in a chair and staring off into space.
They all had ordered some sort of drink or another. Alcohol was prohibited on the actual headquarters. It had almost been banned planetwide back during the Institution during the turn of the century, but the rise of automated driving systems shut it down. They had all ordered some sort of caffeinated beverage that tasted fairly good.
“I guess we’re going to miss the good old days, where humans were the only force in the galaxy and everything seemed so simple,” Roxanna asked looking forward.
“Since when was anything simple in this life?” Saranya asked and then took a long sip from her drink.
“Well since some of us weren’t born to the best friends of Emmanuel Tam, I’d imagine that things weren’t too complicated for you,” Roxanna added with a teasing smirk.
Saranya leaned back in her chair and rested her arms behind her head. “I didn’t choose that. But having the luxury of parents who knew to fund the right friend paid off I guess.”
They continued drinking and talking with each other for several more minutes. However all at once their watches beeped. They were needed back on duty immediately. It seemed that there was no rest for the wicked or for anyone else at this time.
